I've decided to be honest. This is a blog to explore the process of being mentored in portraiture, as well as the journey of being a painter of people. So it should track some of the personal stuff, too.
I fear rejection. And I am being rejected. On a number of fronts. A number of art related rejections, including the sketches sent to the client. No details, yet. And it doesn't sound like a complete rejection, but a rejection none the less. Some of the others are complete and there are some personal rejections going on in my life, too.
I don't deal with criticism well. Not a completely new discovery, but becoming more and more apparent. Even when I agree! Or maybe even more when I agree with the criticism. I know it is useful in making me a better painter and a better person. But I feel it right in my gut. And isn't it interesting how we can hear 3 good things and brush them off, but we'll listen to the 1 negative comment and take it personally.
There has been enough criticism and down right rejection lately to make me consider tossing in the brushes, but I am bull-headed and stubborn. And I've put too much into this to give up now. I will try to realize that this period is just a bump in the road...ok a very deep pothole. But still...
Ah, how we torture ourselves!
4 comments:
This is terrible! Me with my big mouth and unsolicited critiques! I feel responsible for much of this, since I'm always giving opinions freely, and often, insensitively. Beside which, it strikes me that I say things in blogs that would be better to say by email. Worse yet, there's another artist with a blog that I feel I've freaked out! I promise to change.
No no no no no! Trevor, I am strictly saying that I am oversensitive and I need to realize that I need to be detached a bit and not internalize the comments. Your feedback is welcome. This blog is not the blog I use to get customers, and is the perfect place for constructive comments! Thank you! I just felt like I need to be honest about this journey, too.
OHHHHH!!! I hope it wasn't any of my comments that sent you into a tail spin! I was once told by someone that I was supposed to critique, " you aren't any good. You only say nice things." So here I totter between constructive criticism and strong encouragement ( which is my nature to do), and dreading the former. What helped me with client criticism was hearing Kinsler, great painter of GREATS, say that he had to re-paint a few client's portraits, either to satisfy himself or his client. So I tell myself, "if Ray had to do that, then what makes me think I will escape having to do so as well?" And it gives me courage to face my shortcomings. AND, I am willing to "do the work", as I know you are too. Being a portrait painter is hard work, and no cakewalk! You are an awesome blogger, Deborah, and a fantastic artist!
Ahhh, my greatest supporters feel like they are the critics. No!!!!! It is this squishy state of mind that hears criticism when it is only honest opinions. It is the "outsiders" who are the most brutal...and innocent acting.
I'm fine and trying to build character!
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